"If only I could spare you some of this," he said to her one day,
"that's the awful thing, not to be able to share the pain of anyone
whom one loves. I feel I could hold my hand in the fire with a
smile, if only I knew that it was saving you something!"
"Ah, dearest, I know," said Maud, "but you mustn't think of it like
that; it INTERESTS me in a curious way--I can't explain--I don't
feel helpless; I feel as if I were doing something worth the
trouble!"
At last the time drew near; it was hot, silent, airless weather;
the sun lay fiercely in the little valley, day by day; one morning
they were sitting together and Maud suddenly said to him, "Dearest,
one thing I want to say; if I seem to be afraid, I am NOT afraid:
will you remember that? I want to walk every step of the way; I
mean to do it, I wish to do it; I am not afraid in my heart of
hearts of anything--pain, or even worse; and you must remember
that, even if I do not seem to remember!"
"Yes," said Howard, "I will remember that; and indeed I know it;
you even take away my own fears when you speak so; love takes hands
beneath it all."
But on the following morning--Maud had a restless and suffering
night--Mrs. Graves came in upon Howard as he tried to read, to tell
him that there was great anxiety, Maud had had a sudden attack of
pain; it had passed off, but they were not reassured. "The doctor
will be here presently," she said. Howard rose dry-lipped and
haggard.
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