They are not part
of you at all. Don't you know how, when one is quite a child, a
person's house seems to be all a mysterious part of himself? One
thinks he has chosen and arranged it all, knows where everything is
and what it means--everything seems to be a sort of deliberate
expression of his tastes and ideas--and, then one gets older, and
finds out that people don't know what is in their houses at all--
there are rooms into which they never go; and then one finds that
they don't even see the things in their own rooms, have forgotten
how they came there, wouldn't know if they were taken away. My, I
used to feel as if the scents and smells of houses were all
arranged and chosen by their owners. It's like that with you; all
the things you know and remember, the words you speak, are not YOU
at all; I see and feel you now apart from all that."
"I am afraid I have lost what novelists call my glamour," said
Howard. "You have found me out, the poor, shivering, timid thing
that sits like a wizard in the middle of his properties, only
hoping that the stuffed crocodile and the skeleton will frighten
his visitors."
Maud laughed. "Well, I am not frightened any more," she said. "I
doubt if you could frighten me if you tried. I wonder how I should
feel if I saw you angry or chilly. Are you ever angry, I wonder?"
"I think some of my pupils would say that I could be very
disagreeable," said Howard. "I don't think that I was ever very
fierce, but I have realised that I was on occasions very
unpleasant.
Pages:
227
228
229
230
231
232
233
234
235
236
237
238
239
240
241
242
243
244
245
246
247
248
249
250
251