Mrs. Graves had not suspected that he could
have grown to care for a girl, almost young enough to be his
daughter, in so passionate a way. He wished he could have explained
the whole to her, but he was too deeply wounded in mind to confess
to his aunt how impulsive he had been. He had now no doubt that
there was an understanding between Maud and Guthrie. Everyone else
seemed to think so; and when once the affair was happily launched,
he would enjoy a mournful triumph, he thought, by explaining to
Mrs. Graves how considerately he had behaved, and how painful a
dilemma Maud would have been placed in if he had declared his
passion. Maud would have blamed herself; she might easily, with her
anxious sense of responsibility, have persuaded herself into
accepting him as a lover; and then a life-long penance might have
begun for her. He had, at what a cost, saved Maud from the chance
of such a mistake. It was a sad tangle; but when Maud was happily
married, he would perhaps be able to explain to her why he had
behaved as he had done; and she would be grateful to him then. His
restless and fevered imagination traced emotional and dramatic
scenes, in which his delicacy would at last be revealed. He felt
ashamed of himself for this abandonment to sentiment, but he seemed
to have lost control over the emotional part of his mind, which
continued to luxuriate in the consciousness of his own self-
effacement. He had indeed, he felt, fallen low.
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