"
"Ah," said Howard, "I am indeed grateful to you for speaking to me
thus--you have lifted my spirit a little out of the mire. But I
can't be rescued so easily. I shall have a burden to bear for some
time yet--I see no end to it at present: and it is indeed my own
foolish trifling with life that has brought it on me. But, dearest
aunt, you can't help me just now. Let me be silent a little longer.
I shall soon, I think, be able to speak, and then I will tell you
all; and meanwhile it will be a comfort to me to think that you
feel for me and about me as you do. I don't want to indulge in
self-pity--I have not done that. There is nothing unjust in what
has happened to me, nothing intolerable, no specific ill-will. I
have just stumbled upon one of the big troubles of life, suddenly
and unexpectedly, and I am not prepared for it by any practice or
discipline. But I shall get through, don't be afraid--and presently
I will tell you everything." He took his aunt's hand in his own,
and kissed her on the cheek.
"God bless you, dear boy!" she said; "I won't press you to speak;
and you will know that I have you in mind now and always, with
infinite hope and love."
XX
HIGHMINDEDNESS
Howard on thinking over this conversation was somewhat bewildered
as to what exactly was in his aunt's mind. He did not think that
she understood his feeling for Maud, and he was sure that she did
not realise what Maud's feelings about Freddy Guthrie were.
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