My old
system did not give me the smallest help. I was trying to find an
intellectual solution. It was then that I met Miss Gordon, the
great evangelist. She saw I was unhappy, and she said to me one
day: 'You have no business to be unhappy like this. What you want
is STRENGTH, and it is there all the time waiting for you! You are
arguing your case with God, complaining of the injustice you have
received, trying to excuse yourself, trying to find cause to blame
Him. Your life has been broken to pieces, and you are trying to
shelter yourself among the fragments. You must cast them all away,
and thank God for having pierced through the fortress in which you
were imprisoned. You must just go straight to Him, and open your
heart, as if you were opening a window to the sun and air.' She did
not explain, or try to give me formulas or phrases, she simply
showed me the light breaking round me.
"It came to me quite suddenly one morning in my room upstairs. I
was very miserable indeed, missing my dear husband at every turn,
quite unable to face life, shuddering and shrinking through the
days. I threw it all aside, and spoke to God Himself. I said, 'You
made me, You put me here, You sent me love, You sent me prosperity.
I have cared for the wrong things, I have loved in the wrong way.
Now I throw everything else aside, and claim strength and light. I
will sorrow no more and desire no more; I will take every day just
what You send me, I will say and do what You bid me.
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