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Wodehouse, P. G. (Pelham Grenville), 1881-1975

"The Coming of Bill"

This was the attitude he had dreamed of a thousand times and
had been afraid to assume. For the last three years he had been
picturing himself in precisely this position, and daily had cursed the
lack of nerve which had held him back. Yet here he was, and it had all
happened in a moment. A funny thing, life.
"What!" exclaimed Mrs. Porter.
"Sure thing," said Steve. His coolness, the ease with which he found
words astonished him as much as his rapidity of action.
"I stole the kid," he said, "and it was my idea at that. Kirk didn't
know anything about it. I wired to him to-day what I had done and that
he was to come right along. And," added Steve in a burst of
inspiration, "I said bring along Mamie, too, as the kid's used to her
and there ought to be a woman around. And she could be here, all right,
and no harm, she being my affianced wife." He liked that phrase. He had
read it in a book somewhere, and it was the goods.
He eyed Mrs. Porter jauntily. Mrs. Porter's gaze wavered. She was not
feeling comfortable. Hers was a nature that did not lend itself easily
to apologies, yet apologies were obviously what the situation demanded.
The thought of all the eloquence which she had expended to no end added
to her discomfort. For the first time she was pleased that Kirk had so
manifestly not been listening to a word of it.


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