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Wodehouse, P. G. (Pelham Grenville), 1881-1975

"The Coming of Bill"


"Where you been?" he inquired.
"Miles and miles away. You know the Battery?"
William Bannister nodded.
"Well, a long way past that. First I took a ship and went ever so many
miles. Then I landed and went ever so many more miles, with all sorts
of beasts trying to bite pieces out of me."
This interested William Bannister.
"Tigers?" he inquired.
"I didn't actually see any tigers, but I expect they were sneaking
round. There were mosquitoes, though. You know what a mosquito is?"
William nodded.
"Bumps," he observed crisply.
"That's right. You see this lump here, just above my mouth? Well,
that's not a mosquito-bite; that's my nose; but think of something
about that size and you'll have some idea of what a mosquito-bite is
like out there. But why am I boring you with my troubles? Tell me all
about yourself. You've certainly been growing, whatever else you may
have been doing while I've been away; I can hardly lift you. Has Steve
taught you to box yet?"
At this moment he was aware that he had become the centre of a small
group. Looking round he found himself gazing into a face so stiff with
horror and disapproval that he was startled almost into dropping
William. What could have happened to induce Mrs. Porter to look like
that he could not imagine; but her expression checked his flow of light
conversation as if it had been turned off with a switch.


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