He had always had it, and he could
hardly bring himself to realize that he was not always to have it.
It gave him an extraordinary feeling of panic and discomfort when at
length he faced the fact squarely that his private means, on the
possession of which he had based the whole lazy scheme of his life,
were as much at the mercy of fate as the stake which a gambler flings
on the green cloth. He did not know enough of business to understand
the complicated processes by which a stock hitherto supposed to be as
impregnable as municipal bonds had been hammered into a ragged remnant
in the course of a single day; but the result of them was unpleasantly
clear and easily grasped.
His income was cut in half, and instead of being a comfortably off
young man, idly watching the pageant of life from a seat in the grand
stand, he must now plunge into the crowd and endeavour to earn a living
as others did.
For his losses did not begin and end with the ruin of this particular
stock. At intervals during the past two years he had been nibbling at
his capital, and now, forced to examine his affairs frankly and
minutely, he was astonished at the inroads he had made upon it.
There had been the upkeep of the summer shack he had bought in
Connecticut. There had been expenses in connection with William
Bannister. There had been little treats for Ruth.
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