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Various

"Punchinello, Volume 2, No. 38, December 17, 1870."

Have you anything to say for yourself before I proceed to shoot
you? I might mention that I once had a third cousin whose aunt by
marriage was slightly insane, so you see that I can kill you with a calm
certainty that the jury will acquit me, on the ground of my hereditary
insanity."
PHILIP.--"Take a drink, old boy. We'll be reasonable about this matter.
Don't attempt murder,--it's no longer respectable since MCFARLAND went
into the business. Why can't we compromise this affair?"
ENOCH.--"It will cost you something. There are my lacerated feelings,
which can't be repaired without a good deal of expense. Still I will do
the fair thing by you. Give me fifty thousand dollars and I'll leave the
country and say nothing more about it. You can keep my wife, if you want
her. I'm sure _I_ don't."
PHILIP.--"But I've been to a good deal of expense about her. Her clothes
have cost me no end of money, and there are all our new children
besides. Children, let me tell you, are a great deal more expensive now
than they were in your day. Now, I'll give you twenty thousand dollars,
and your wife, and we'll call it square.


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