And I will now close this evening's
lecture by an appeal to the audience now present, to take warning by me,
and never drink a drop of lager-beer. Think, my friends, what would be
the feelings of your respective wives, should you return home, after a
drunken sleep of twenty or thirty years, and find them all married to
richer husbands! Think how they would revile the weakness of the beer
which could not keep you asleep forever. Think how you would complicate
the real estate business, when you came to turn out the mistaken people
who had occupied, improved, and sold your property during your brief
absence. Think of the difficulties that would arise from the increase in
the size of your families, which would probably have taken place while
you were sleeping out in the open air, and for which you would have to
provide, although you had not been consulted in the matter. Think, too,
of the extent to which you would be interviewed by the reporters of the
_Sun_, and the atrocious libels concerning yourselves and your families
which that unclean sheet would publish. Think of all these things, my
friends, and then step into the box-office on your way out and sign the
total abstinence pledge.
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