The study of metaphysics should be prohibited at such an
institution. Burglars especially should not be allowed to Open Locke on
the Human Understanding.
* * * * *
The Worst Kind of "Paris Green."
It is stated by observant _flaneurs_ that much _absinthe_ is consumed by
ladies who frequent fashionable up-town restaurants. One lovely blonde
has grown so _absinthe_-minded from the habit, that she regularly leaves
the restaurant without paying for her luncheon.
* * * * *
Quarrelsome in their Cups.
Should the European Powers get into a fight over the Sublime Porte, what
a strong argument it would be in favor of temperance!
* * * * *
[Illustration: ABOUT A FOOT.
_Mr. Bunyan (whose corns have just been subjected to severe pressure)._
"YOU OLD BEGGAR, YOU!"
_Mr. Lightfoot (who is a little hard of hearing)._ "NO APOLOGY
NECESSARY, I ASSURE YOU, SIR; MATTER OF NO CONSEQUENCE WHATEVER; PRAY
DON'T MENTION IT."]
* * * * *
MR. BEZZLE'S DREAM.
MR. BEZZLE was the editor and proprietor of a large and influential
newspaper that sold two for a cent, and had special correspondents in
every corner of the office.
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