1850
X-ING A PARAGRAB
by Edgar Allan Poe
AS it is well known that the 'wise men' came 'from the East,' and as
Mr. Touch-and-go Bullet-head came from the East, it follows that Mr.
Bullet-head was a wise man; and if collateral proof of the matter be
needed, here we have it- Mr. B. was an editor. Irascibility was his
sole foible, for in fact the obstinacy of which men accused him was
anything but his foible, since he justly considered it his forte. It
was his strong point- his virtue; and it would have required all the
logic of a Brownson to convince him that it was 'anything else.'
I have shown that Touch-and-go Bullet-head was a wise man; and the
only occasion on which he did not prove infallible, was when,
abandoning that legitimate home for all wise men, the East, he
migrated to the city of Alexander-the-Great-o-nopolis, or some place
of a similar title, out West.
I must do him the justice to say, however, that when he made up
his mind finally to settle in that town, it was under the impression
that no newspaper, and consequently no editor, existed in that
particular section of the country. In establishing 'The Tea-Pot' he
expected to have the field all to himself. I feel confident he never
would have dreamed of taking up his residence in
Alexander-the-Great-o-nopolis had he been aware that, in
Alexander-the-Great-o-nopolis, there lived a gentleman named John
Smith (if I rightly remember), who for many years had there quietly
grown fat in editing and publishing the 'Alexander-the-Great-o-nopolis
Gazette.
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