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Various

"McClure's Magazine, Vol. 6, No. 5, April, 1896"

I've taken a
liking to you--that's flat--and I apply for the post."
"I give forty pounds a year," said he.
"And I'm cheap at that price."
He filled up his glass, looking up at me while he did so with the air
of one digesting a problem. From first to last his face was grave as a
judge's.
"We are too impulsive, I think," was his answer, after a minute's
silence. "And your speech smacks of the amateur. You say, 'Let
me cease to be your burglar, and let me be your butler.' The mere
aspiration is respectable; but a man might as well say, 'Let me cease
to write poems; let me paint pictures.' And truly, sir, you impressed
me as no expert in your present trade, but a journeyman-housebreaker,
if I may say so."
"On the other hand," I argued, "consider the moderation of my demands;
that alone should convince you of my desire to turn over a new leaf.
I ask for a month's trial; if, at the end of that time, I don't suit,
you shall say so, and I'll march from your door with nothing in my
pocket but my month's wages. Be hanged, sir! but when I reflect on the
amount you'll have to pay to get me to face to-night's storm again,
you seem to be getting off dirt-cheap!" cried I, slapping my palm on
the table.
"Ah, if you had only known Adolphus!" he exclaimed.
Now, the third glass of clean spirits has always a deplorable effect
on me.


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