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O'Brien, Seumas

"Duty, and other Irish Comedies"

He's drunk.
HEAD
What's that you're sayin'? Who's drunk?
PADNA
Be jaikus, ye're all drunk.
MICUS
Come on away home, Padna, an' don't mind _them._
They're a bad lot.
PADNA
The smell o' drink from 'em is awful.
MICUS
'Tis disgustin'. I wouldn't be seen in their company.
Padna. Come on away.
HEAD (_to Sergeant and Constable_)
Arrest these min!
PADNA
Do ye hear that, Micus?
MICUS (_opening his coat_)
I do, but I won't be insulted be the likes o' them.
PADNA (_opening his coat also_)
Nayther will I!
HEAD (_indignantly_)
Why don't ye arrest these min, I say?
PADNA and MICUS (_together_)
Arrest us, is it? (_They take off their coats, throw them
on the ground, and take their stand like pugilists_) Come
on, now, and arrest us!
PADNA
I'll take the best man.
MICUS
An' I'll take the lot.
[_The police try to arrest them, and a desperate struggle
ensues. The police lose their caps and belts, but eventually
succeed in overpowering them._
MRS. COTTER (_rushes to the rescue_)
O boys, for my sake, an' for the sake o' ye'r wives
an' families, have no crossness but lave the house
quietly.
PADNA (_as he struggles with the Sergeant_)
Don't fret, ma'am. We'll have no crossness. All we
want is to wipe the police from the face o' the earth
altogether.


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