Surely do I believe that
not even Love himself can cause so great anguish as such an attempt is
certain to produce. Furthermore, I was arrested in my purpose by the
fact that I had no acquaintance with him of whom I professed myself
enamored. To relate all the thoughts that were engendered in me by this
love, and of what nature they were, would take altogether too much time.
But some few I must perforce declare, as well as certain things that
were beginning to delight me more than usual. I say, then, that,
everything else being neglected, the only thing that was dear to me was
the thought of my beloved, and, when it occurred to my mind that, by
persevering in this course, I might, mayhap, give occasion to some one
to discover that which I wished to conceal, I often upbraided myself for
my folly. But what availed it all? My upbraidings had to give way to my
inordinate yearning for him, and dissolved uselessly into thin air.
For several days I longed exceedingly to learn who was the youth I
loved, toward whom my thoughts were ever clearly leading me; and this I
craftily learned, the which filled me with great content. In like
manner, the ornaments for which I had before this in no way cared, as
having but little need thereof, began to be dear to me, thinking that
the more I was adorned the better should I please. Wherefore I prized
more than hitherto my garments, gold, pearls, and my other precious
things.
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