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Leacock, Stephen, 1869-1944

"My Discovery of England"

The chairman puts
up his hand for silence, picks up another telegram and continues,
"Our committee, ladies and gentlemen, telegraphed an invitation to
Sir Wilfrid Laurier very cordially inviting him to be here to-night.
I have here Sir Wilfrid's answer in which he says that he will not be
able to be with us" (renewed applause). The chairman again puts up
his hand for silence and goes on, picking up one paper after another.
"The Minister of Finance regrets that he will be unable to come"
(applause). "Mr. Rodolphe Lemieux (applause) will not be here (great
applause)--the Mayor of Toronto (applause) is detained on business
(wild applause)--the Anglican Bishop of the Diocese (applause)--the
Principal of the University College, Toronto (great applause)--the
Minister of Education (applause)--none of these are coming." There is
a great clapping of hands and enthusiasm, after which the meeting is
called to order with a very distinct and palpable feeling that it is
one of the most distinguished audiences ever gathered in the hall.
Here is another experience of the same period while I was pursuing
the same exalted purpose: I arrived in a little town in Eastern
Ontario, and found to my horror that I was billed to "appear" in
a church. I was supposed to give readings from my works, and my
books are supposed to be of a humorous character. A church hardly
seemed the right place to get funny in.


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