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Leacock, Stephen, 1869-1944

"My Discovery of England"

I find a similar popular error in
regard to the use of whiskey by the Scotch. Because they manufacture
the best whiskey in the world, the Scotch, in popular fancy, are
often thought to be addicted to the drinking of it. This is purely
a delusion. During the whole of two or three pleasant weeks spent
in lecturing in Scotland, I never on any occasion saw whiskey made
use of as a beverage. I have seen people take it, of course, as a
medicine, or as a precaution, or as a wise offset against a rather
treacherous climate; but as a beverage, never.
The manner and circumstance of their offering whiskey to a stranger
amply illustrates their point of view towards it. Thus at my first
lecture in Glasgow where I was to appear before a large and
fashionable audience, the chairman said to me in the committee room
that he was afraid that there might be a draft on the platform. Here
was a serious matter. For a lecturer who has to earn his living by
his occupation, a draft on the platform is not a thing to be
disregarded. It might kill him. Nor is it altogether safe for the
chairman himself, a man already in middle life, to be exposed to a
current of cold air. In this case, therefore, the chairman suggested
that he thought it might be "prudent"--that was his word,
"prudent"--if I should take a small drop of whiskey before
encountering the draft. In return I told him that I could not think
of his accompanying me to the platform unless he would let me insist
on his taking a very reasonable precaution.


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