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Leacock, Stephen, 1869-1944

"My Discovery of England"

Monsieur Briand, the French Minister, is reported to have
thrown out the figure 4,281,390,687,471. But Mr. Lloyd George would
not pick it up. Nor do I blame him unless he had a basket to pick it
up with.
Lloyd George's point of view was that the Germans could very properly
pay a limited amount such as 3,912,486,782,421 marks, but it was
not feasible to put on them a burden of 4,281,390,687,471 marks.
By the way, if any one at this point doubts the accuracy of the
figures just given, all he has to do is to take the amount of the
indemnity as stated in gold marks and then multiply it by the
present value of the mark and he will find to his chagrin that the
figures are correct. If he is still not satisfied I refer him to
a book of Logarithms. If he is not satisfied with that I refer him
to any work on conic sections and if not convinced even then I
refer him so far that he will never come back.
The indemnity being thus fixed, the next question is as to the method
of collecting it. In the first place there is no intention of
allowing the Germans to pay in actual cash. If they do this they will
merely inflate the English beyond what is bearable. England has been
inflated now for eight years and has had enough of it.
In the second place, it is understood that it will not do to allow
the Germans to offer 4,218, 390,687,471 marks' worth of coal.


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