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Leacock, Stephen, 1869-1944

"My Discovery of England"

I remember the first time I went into the English country-side
being struck with the clean, honest look in the people's faces. I
realised exactly where they got it: they had never seen any Americans.
I remember speaking to an aged peasant down in Somerset. "Have you
ever seen any Americans?" "Nah," he said, "uz eeard a mowt o' 'em,
zir, but uz zeen nowt o' 'em." It was clear that the noble fellow
was quite undamaged by American contact.
Now the odd thing about this corruption is that exactly the same idea
is held on the other side of the water. It is a known fact that if a
young English Lord comes to an American town he puts it to the bad in
one week. Socially the whole place goes to pieces. Girls whose
parents are in the hardware business and who used to call their
father "pop" begin to talk of precedence and whether a Duchess
Dowager goes in to dinner ahead of or behind a countess scavenger.
After the young Lord has attended two dances and one tea-social in
the Methodist Church Sunday School Building (Adults 25 cents,
children 10 cents--all welcome.) there is nothing for the young men
of the town to do except to drive him out or go further west.
One can hardly wonder then that this general corruption has extended
even to the policemen who guard the Houses of Parliament. On the
other hand this vein of corruption has not extended to English
politics.


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