"Sir," he had said to my father, "your heaven will not attract me unless
I can take my clothes and my luggage. Yes; and I must lose my luggage
and find it again. On arriving, I must be told that it has unfortunately
been taken to a wrong circle, and that there may be some difficulty in
recovering it--or it shall have been sent up to mansion number five
hundred thousand millions nine hundred thousand forty six thousand eight
hundred and eleven, whereas it should have gone to four hundred thousand
millions, &c., &c.; and am I sure that I addressed it rightly? Then,
when I am just getting cross enough to run some risk of being turned out,
the luggage shall make its appearance, hat-box, umbrella, rug,
golf-sticks, bicycle, and everything else all quite correct, and in my
delight I shall tip the angel double and realise that I am enjoying
myself.
"Or I must have asked what I could have for breakfast, and be told I
could have boiled eggs, or eggs and bacon, or filleted plaice. 'Filleted
plaice,' I shall exclaim, 'no! not that. Have you any red mullets?' And
the angel will say, 'Why no, sir, the gulf has been so rough that there
has hardly any fish come in this three days, and there has been such a
run on it that we have nothing left but plaice.'
"'Well, well,' I shall say, 'have you any kidneys?'
"'You can have one kidney, sir', will be the answer.
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