"The true gentleman in like manner carefully avoids whatever may
cause a jar or a jolt in the minds of those with whom he is cast;
all clashing of opinion, or collision of feeling, all restraint,
or suspicion, or gloom, or resentment; his great concern being to
make everyone at their ease and at home. He has his eyes on all
his company; he is tender towards the bashful, gentle towards the
distant, and merciful towards the absurd; he can recollect to whom
he is speaking; he guards against unseasonable allusions, or
topics which may irritate; he is seldom prominent in conversation
and never wearisome.
"He makes light of favours while he does them, and seems to be
receiving when he is conferring. He never speaks of himself except
when compelled, never defends himself by a mere retort; he has no
ears for slander or gossip, is scrupulous in imputing motives to
those who interfere with him, and interprets everything for the
best. He is never mean or little in his disputes, never takes
unfair advantage, never mistakes personalities or sharp sayings
for arguments, or insinuates evil which he dare not say out. From
a long-sighted prudence he observes the maxim of the ancient sage,
that we should ever conduct ourselves towards our enemy as if he
were one day to be our friend.
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