He was not in
circumstances to do much for her; and yet, after all this
blemish, she found means, after she had dropt her burthen
and disposed of me to a poor relation's in the country, to
repair it by marrying a pastry-cook here in London, in
thriving business; on whom she soon, under favour of the
complete ascendant he had given her over him, passed me for
a child she had by her first husband. I had, on that foot-
ing, been taken home, and was not six years old when this
step-father died and left my mother in tolerable circum-
stances, and without any children by him. As to my natural
father, he had betaken himself to the sea; where, when the
truth of things came out, I was told that he died, not
immensely rich you may think, since he was no more than a
common sailor. As I grew up, under the eyes of my mother,
who kept on the business, I could not but see, in her
severe watchfulness, the marks of a slip which she did not
care should be hereditary, but we no more choose our pas-
sions than our features or complexion, and the bent of
mine was so strong to the forbidden pleasure, that it got
the better, at length, of all her care and precaution. I
was scarce twelve years old before that part which she
wanted so much to keep out of harm's way made me feel its
impatience to be taken notice of, and come into play: al-
ready had it put forth the signs of forwardness in the
sprout of a soft down over it, which had often flatter'd,
and I might also say, grown under my constant touch and
visitation, so pleas'd was I with what I took to be a kind
of title to womanhood, that state I pin'd to be entr'd of,
for the pleasures I conceiv'd were annexed to it; and now
the growing importance of that part to me, and the new sen-
sations in it, demolish'd at once all my girlish playthings
and amusements.
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