He had such powerful
holds upon my inclinations as were not easily to be shaken
off, or replaced; as to my heart, it was quite out of the
question: glad, however, I was from my soul, that nothing
worse, and as things turn'd out, probably nothing better
could have happened to him.
As to Mr. H . . ., though views of conveniency made
me, at first, exert myself to regain his affection, I was
giddy and thoughtless enough to be much easier reconcil'd
to my failure than I ought to have been; but as I never had
lov'd him, and his leaving me gave me a sort of liberty that
I had often long'd for, I was soon comforted; and flattering
myself that the stock of youth and beauty I was going into
trade with could hardly fail of procuring me a maintenance,
I saw myself under a necessity of trying my fortune with
them, rather, with pleasure and gaiety, than with the least
idea of despondency.
In the mean time, several of my acquaintances among
the sisterhood, who had soon got wind of my misfortune,
flocked to insult me with their malicious consolations.
Most of them had long envied me the affluence and splendour
I had been maintain'd in; and though there was scarce one
of them that did not at least deserve to be in my case, and
would probably, sooner or later, come to it, it was equally
easy to remark, even in their affected pity, their secret
pleasure at seeing me thus disgrac'd and discarded, and
their secret grief that it was no worse with me.
Pages:
128
129
130
131
132
133
134
135
136
137
138
139
140
141
142
143
144
145
146
147
148
149
150
151
152