But that was not the case, my pride alone was hurt,
my heart not, and I could easier win upon myself to see how
far he would go, till I had no uncertainty upon my conscience.
The least delicate of all affairs of this sort being
now over, I retir'd softly into my closet, where I began to
consider what I should do. My first scheme, naturally, was
to rush in and upbraid them; this, indeed, flatter'd my
present emotions and vexations, as it would have given im-
mediate vent to them; but, on second thoughts, not being so
clear as to the consequences to be apprehended from such a
step, I began to doubt whether it was not better to dissemble
my discovery till a safer season, when Mr. H . . . should
have perfected the settlement he had made overtures to me of,
and which I was not to think such a violent explanation, as
I was indeed not equal to the management of, could possibly
forward, and might destroy. On the other hand, the provo-
cation seem'd too gross, too flagrant, not to give me some
thoughts of revenge; the very start of which idea restor'd
me to perfect composure; and delighted as I was with the
confus'd plan of it in my head, I was easily mistress enough
of myself to support the part of ignorance I had prescrib'd
to myself; and as all this circle of reflections was in-
stantly over, I stole a tip-toe to the passage door, and
opening it with a noise, pass'd for having that moment come
home; and after a short pause, as if to pull off my things,
I opened the door into the dining room, where I found the
dowdy blowing the fire, and my faithful shepherd walking
about the room and whistling, as cool and unconcern'd as if
nothing had happened.
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