Phoebe lay down by me, and ask'd me archly if, now that
I had seen the enemy, and fully considered him, I was still
afraid of him? or did I think I could venture to come to a
close engagement with him? To all which, not a word on my
side; I sigh'd, and could scarce breathe. She takes hold of
my hand, and having roll'd up her own petticoats, forced it
half strivingly towards those parts, where, now grown more
knowing, I miss'd the main object of my wishes; and finding
not even the shadow of what I wanted, where every thing was
so flat, or so hollow, in the vexation I was in at it, I
should have withdrawn my hand but for fear of disobliging
her. Abandoning it then entirely to her management, she
made use of it as she thought proper, to procure herself
rather the shadow than the substance of any pleasure. For
my part, I now pin'd for more solid food, and promis'd
tacitly to myself that I would not be put off much longer
with this foolery from woman to woman, if Mrs. Brown did
not soon provide me with the essential specific. In short,
I had all the air of not being able to wait the arrival of
my lord B . . . tho' he was now expected in a very few days:
nor did I wait for him, for love itself took charge of the
disposal of me, in spite of interest, or gross lust.
It was now two days after the closet-scene, that I got
up about six in the morning, and leaving my bed-fellow fast
asleep, stole down, with no other thought than of taking a
little fresh air in a small garden, which our back-parlour
open'd into, and from which my confinement debarr'd me at
the times company came to the house; but now sleep and
silence reign'd all over it.
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