I knew it was not to last, and I lacked strength to
end it sooner. Think how dear your kisses must have been to me, that I
could endure them with the knowledge all the while that if you knew whom
you were kissing, you would spurn me with your foot.
"As soon as you began to urge me to name a day for our marriage I knew
that the end was near. You wondered why I cried so whenever you spoke of
it. You know now. To-day Miss Ludington told me that she intended to
adopt me and leave me her fortune, so that I need feel under no necessity
to marry you if I did not wish to. Think of that, Paul! Can you conceive
of any one so low, so base, as to be capable of taking advantage of such
a heart? As she was talking to me, I made up my mind that I must go
to-night.
"This evening, when I was helping her to bed (I have been so glad to do
all I could for her; it took away a little of my shame to see how happy I
made her) she seemed so troubled because I could not keep my tears from
falling. When you read her this she will think her sympathy wasted. And
yet she will not think hard of me.
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