I used to dream that
he was well again, and that he was searching for me, and
the dreadful realness of it used to waken me, and I would
find myself shivering with terror. Once I dreamed that
I looked up from my desk to find him standing in the
doorway, smiling that mirthless smile of his, and I heard
him say, in his mocking way: `Hello, Dawn my love;
looking wonderfully well. Grass widowhood agrees with
you, eh?'"
"Dawn, you must not laugh like that. Come, we will
go. You are shivering! Don't, dear, don't. See, you
have Norah, and Max,and me to help you. We will put him
on his feet. Physically he is not what he should be. I can
do much for him."
"You!" I cried, and the humor of it was too exquisite
for laughter.
"For that I gave up Vienna," said Von Gerhard,
simply. "You, too, must do your share."
"My share! I have done my share. He was in the
gutter, and he was dragging me with him. When his
insanity came upon him I thanked God for it, and
struggled up again. Even Norah never knew what that
struggle was. Whatever I am, I am in spite of him. I
tell you I could hug my widow's weeds. Ten years ago he
showed me how horrible and unclean a thing can be made of
this beautiful life.
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