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Thackeray, William Makepeace, 1811-1863

"Burlesques"

All that you have to do is to eject us; and the rest will
follow, of course."
"Who has taken possession of this here property?" roars Jemmy, again.
"My friend Mr. Scapgoat," said the lawyer.--Mr. Scapgoat grinned.
"Mr. Scapgoat," said my wife, shaking her fist at him (for she is a
woman of no small spirit), "if you don't leave this ground I'll have
you pushed out with pitchforks, I will--you and your beggarly blackamoor
yonder." And, suiting the action to the word, she clapped a stable fork
into the hands of one of the gardeners, and called another, armed with
a rake, to his help, while young Tug set the dog at their heels, and I
hurrahed for joy to see such villany so properly treated.
"That's sufficient, ain't it?" said Mr. Scapgoat, with the calmest air
in the world. "Oh, completely," said the lawyer. "Mr. Tuggeridge, we've
ten miles to dinner. Madam, your very humble servant." And the whole
posse of them rode away.

LAW LIFE ASSURANCE.

We knew not what this meant, until we received a strange document from
Higgs, in London--which begun, "Middlesex to wit. Samuel Cox, late of
Portland Place, in the city of Westminster, in the said county, was
attached to answer Samuel Scapgoat, of a plea, wherefore, with force and
arms, he entered into one messuage, with the appurtenances, which John
Tuggeridge, Esq.


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