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Thackeray, William Makepeace, 1811-1863

"Burlesques"

"
The Duchess (a tall red-haired grenadier of a woman) did not speak.
I went on: "The young ones are all at it, ma'am, you see; and so we
thought we would come and sit down among the old ones. You and I, ma'am,
I think, are too stiff to dance."
"Sir!" says her Grace.
"Ma'am," says I, "don't you know me? My name's Cox. Nobody's introduced
me; but, dash it, it's my own house, and I may present myself--so give
us your hand, ma'am."
And I shook hers in the kindest way in the world; but--would you
believe it?--the old cat screamed as if my hand had been a hot 'tater.
"Fitzurse! Fitzurse!" shouted she, "help! help!" Up scuffled all the
other Dowagers--in rushed the dancers. "Mamma! mamma!" squeaked Lady
Julia North Pole. "Lead me to my mother," howled Lady Aurorer: and both
came up and flung themselves into her arms. "Wawt's the raw?" said Lord
Fitzurse, sauntering up quite stately.
"Protect me from the insults of this man," says her Grace. "Where's
Tufthunt? he promised that not a soul in this house should speak to me."
"My dear Duchess," said Tufthunt, very meek.
"Don't Duchess ME, sir. Did you not promise they should not speak;
and hasn't that horrid tipsy wretch offered to embrace me? Didn't his
monstrous wife sicken me with her odious familiarities? Call my people,
Tufthunt! Follow me, my children!"
"And my carriage," "And mine," "And mine!" shouted twenty more voices.


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