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Thackeray, William Makepeace, 1811-1863

"Burlesques"

"Where were you, fellows," shouted he, "during
the time my castle was at its utmost need?"
Otto replied, "We were out on particular business."
"Does a soldier leave his post on the day of battle, sir?" exclaimed the
Prince. "You know the reward of such--Death! and death you merit. But
you are a soldier only of yesterday, and yesterday's victory has made me
merciful. Hanged you shall not be, as you merit--only flogged, both
of you. Parade the men, Colonel Tickelstern, after breakfast, and give
these scoundrels five hundred apiece."
You should have seen how young Otto bounded, when this information was
thus abruptly conveyed to him. "Flog ME!" cried he. "Flog Otto of--"
"Not so, my father," said the Princess Helen, who had been standing by
during the conversation, and who had looked at Otto all the while with
the most ineffable scorn. "Not so: although these PERSONS have forgotten
their duty" (she laid a particularly sarcastic emphasis on the word
persons), "we have had no need of their services, and have luckily found
OTHERS more faithful. You promised your daughter a boon, papa; it is the
pardon of these two PERSONS. Let them go, and quit a service they have
disgraced; a mistress--that is, a master--they have deceived."
"Drum 'em out of the castle, Ticklestern; strip their uniforms from
their backs, and never let me hear of the scoundrels again.


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