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Thackeray, William Makepeace, 1811-1863

"Burlesques"


"Oh," said the pale lady, with a smile, "the mystery is easily accounted
for: the servants hear you, and the kitchen is BELOW." But this did not
account for the manner in which more half-and-half, bitter ale, punch
(both gin and rum), and even oil and vinegar, which he took with
cucumber to his salmon, came out of the self-same bottle from which the
lady had first poured out his pint of half-and-half.
"There are more things in heaven and earth, Voracio," said his arch
entertainer, when he put this question to her, "than are dreamt of in
your philosophy:" and, sooth to say, the archer was by this time in such
a state, that he did not find anything wonderful more.
"Are you happy, dear youth?" said the lady, as, after his collation, he
sank back in his chair.
"Oh, miss, ain't I?" was his interrogative and yet affirmative reply.
"Should you like such a supper every night, Wolfgang?" continued the
pale one.
"Why, no," said he; "no, not exactly; not EVERY night: SOME nights I
should like oysters."
"Dear youth," said she, "be but mine, and you may have them all the year
round!" The unhappy boy was too far gone to suspect anything, otherwise
this extraordinary speech would have told him that he was in suspicious
company. A person who can offer oysters all the year round can live to
no good purpose.


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