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Thackeray, William Makepeace, 1811-1863

"Burlesques"

Two or three executioners stood
near, with strange-looking instruments: others were blowing at a fire,
over which was a caldron, and in the embers were stuck other prongs and
instruments of iron.
The crier came forward and read my sentence. It was the same in effect
as that which had been hinted to me the day previous by the Grand
Vizier. I confess I was too agitated to catch every word that was
spoken.
Holkar himself, on a tall dromedary, was at a little distance. The
Grand Vizier came up to me--it was his duty to stand by, and see the
punishment performed. "It is yet time!" said he.
I nodded my head, but did not answer.
The Vizier cast up to heaven a look of inexpressible anguish, and with a
voice choking with emotion, said, "EXECUTIONER--DO--YOUR--DUTY!"
The horrid man advanced--he whispered sulkily in the ears of the Grand
Vizier, "Guggly ka ghee, hum khedgeree," said he, "the oil does not boil
yet--wait one minute." The assistants blew, the fire blazed, the oil was
heated. The Vizier drew a few feet aside: taking a large ladle full of
the boiling liquid, he advanced--
*****
"Whish! bang, bang! pop!" the executioner was dead at my feet, shot
through the head; the ladle of scalding oil had been dashed in the face
of the unhappy Grand Vizier, who lay on the plain, howling.


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