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Thackeray, William Makepeace, 1811-1863

"Burlesques"

'
"The ladies, the guests (to the number of eighty-three), the sepoys,
choprasees, masolgees, and so on, had all crowded on the platform at
the sound of my shouting, and dreadful was the consternation, shrill
the screaming, occasioned by my words. The men stood irresolute and
mute with terror! the women, trembling, knew scarcely whither to fly for
refuge. 'Who are yonder ruffians?' said I. A hundred voices yelped in
reply--some said the Pindarees, some said the Mahrattas, some vowed it
was Scindiah, and others declared it was Holkar--no one knew.
"'Is there any one here,' said I, 'who will venture to reconnoitre
yonder troops?' There was a dead pause.
"'A thousand tomauns to the man who will bring me news of yonder army!'
again I repeated. Still a dead silence. The fact was that Scindiah
and Holkar both were so notorious for their cruelty, that no one dared
venture to face the danger. Oh for fifty of my brave Abmednuggarees!'
thought I.
"'Gentlemen,' said I, 'I see it--you are cowards--none of you dare
encounter the chance even of death. It is an encouraging prospect: know
you not that the ruffian Holkar, if it be he, will with the morrow's
dawn beleaguer our little fort, and throw thousands of men against our
walls? know you not that, if we are taken, there is no quarter, no
hope; death for us--and worse than death for these lovely ones assembled
here?' Here the ladies shrieked and raised a howl as I have heard the
jackals on a summer's evening.


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