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Thackeray, William Makepeace, 1811-1863

"Burlesques"

The most ridiculous
part of the affair is, that the toothpick-case was his, after all--he
had left it on the Nawaub's table at tiffin. I can't conceive what
madness prompted him to fight about such a paltry bauble; he had much
better have yielded it at once, when he saw I was determined to have
it. From this slight specimen of my adventures, the reader will perceive
that my life has been one of no ordinary interest; and, in fact, I
may say that I have led a more remarkable life than any man in the
service--I have been at more pitched battles, led more forlorn hopes,
had more success among the fair sex, drunk harder, read more, and been a
handsomer man than any officer now serving her Majesty.
When I at first went to India in 1802, I was a raw cornet of seventeen,
with blazing red hair, six feet four in height, athletic at all kinds of
exercises, owing money to my tailor and everybody else who would trust
me, possessing an Irish brogue, and my full pay of 120L. a year. I need
not say that with all these advantages I did that which a number of
clever fellows have done before me--I fell in love, and proposed to
marry immediately.
But how to overcome the difficulty?--It is true that I loved Julia
Jowler--loved her to madness; but her father intended her for a Member
of Council at least, and not for a beggarly Irish ensign.


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