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Thackeray, William Makepeace, 1811-1863

"Burlesques"

I follow them as soon
as the horses have fed.

"FOURTH EDITION.
"SHAMEFUL TREATMENT OF OUR REPORTER.
"WHISTLEBINKIE, N. B. Monday, Midnight.
"I arrived at this romantic little villa about two hours after the
newly married couple, whose progress I have the honor to trace, reached
Whistlebinkie. They have taken up their residence at the 'Cairngorm
Arms'--mine is at the other hostelry, the 'Clachan of Whistlebinkie.'
"On driving up to the 'Cairngorm Arms,' I found a gentleman of military
appearance standing at the doer, and occupied seemingly in smoking
a cigar. It was very dark as I descended from my carriage, and the
gentleman in question exclaimed, 'Is it you, Southdown my boy? You have
come too late; unless you are come to have some supper;' or words to
that effect. I explained that I was not the Lord Viscount Southdown,
and politely apprised Captain Silvertop (for I justly concluded the
individual before me could be no other) of his mistake.
"'Who the deuce' (the Captain used a stronger term) 'are you, then?'
said Mr. Silvertop. 'Are you Baggs and Tapewell, my uncle's attorneys?
If you are, you have come too late for the fair.'
"I briefly explained that I was not Baggs and Tapewell, but that my name
was J--ms, and that I was a gentleman connected with the establishment
of the Morning Tatler newspaper.


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