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Thackeray, William Makepeace, 1811-1863

"Burlesques"

When
I'm your suninlor I'll treble the valyou of your estayt. I'll make your
incumbrinces as right as a trivit, and restor the ouse of Bareacres to
its herly splender. But a pig in a poak is not the way of transacting
bisniss imployed by Jeames De la Pluche, Esquire.'
"And I had a right to speak in this way. I was one of the greatest
scrip-holders in Hengland; and calclated on a kilossle fortune. All my
shares was rising immence. Every poast brot me noose that I was sevral
thowsands richer than the day befor. I was detummind not to reerlize
till the proper time, and then to buy istates; to found a new family of
Delapluches, and to alie myself with the aristoxy of my country.
"These pints I reprasented to pore Mary Hann hover and hover agin. 'If
you'd been Lady Hangelina, my dear gal,' says I, 'I would have married
you: and why don't I? Because my dooty prewents me. I'm a marter to
dooty; and you, my pore gal, must cumsole yorself with that ideer.'
"There seemed to be a consperracy, too, between that Silvertop and Lady
Hangelina to drive me to the same pint. 'What a plucky fellow you were,
Pluche,' says he (he was rayther more familiar than I liked), 'in
your fight with Fitzwarren--to engage a man of twice your strength
and science, though you were sure to be beaten' (this is an etroashous
folsood: I should have finnisht Fitz in 10 minnits), 'for the sake of
poor Mary Hann! That's a generous fellow.


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