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Thackeray, William Makepeace, 1811-1863

"Burlesques"

A. H.
In the diary of the pocket-book was a journal, jotted down by the
proprietor from time to time. At first the entries are insignificant:
as, for instance:--"3rd January--Our beer in the Suvnts' hall so
PRECIOUS small at this Christmas time that I reely MUSS give warning,
& wood, but for my dear Mary Hann. February 7--That broot Screw, the
Butler, wanted to kis her, but my dear Mary Hann boxt his hold hears, &
served him right. I DATEST Screw,"--and so forth. Then the diary relates
to Stock Exchange operations, until we come to the time when, having
achieved his successes, Mr. James quitted Berkeley Square and his
livery, and began his life as a speculator and a gentleman upon town. It
is from the latter part of his diary that we make the following

EXTRAX:--

"Wen I anounced in the Servnts All my axeshn of forting, and that by
the exasize of my own talince and ingianiuty I had reerlized a summ of
20,000 lb. (it was only 5, but what's the use of a mann depreshiating
the qualaty of his own mackyrel?)--wen I enounced my abrup intention
to cut--you should have sean the sensation among hall the people! Cook
wanted to know whether I woodn like a sweatbred, or the slise of the
breast of a Cold Tucky. Screw, the butler, (womb I always detested as a
hinsalant hoverbaring beest,) begged me to walk into the Hupper
Servnts All, and try a glass of Shuperior Shatto Margo.


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