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Thackeray, William Makepeace, 1811-1863

"Burlesques"

I have now a
confidenshle servant, a vally de shamber--He curls my air; inspex my
accounts, and hansers my hinvitations to dinner. I call this Vally my
TRENT VALLY, for it was the prophit I got from that exlent line, which
injuiced me to ingage him.
"Besides my North British Plate and Breakfast equipidge--I have two
handsom suvvices for dinner--the goold plate for Sundays, and the silver
for common use. When I ave a great party, 'Trent,' I say to my man, 'we
will have the London and Bummingham plate to-day (the goold), or else
the Manchester and Leeds (the silver).' I bought them after realizing on
the abuf lines, and if people suppose that the companys made me a presnt
of the plate, how can I help it?
"In the sam way I say, 'Trent, bring us a bottle of Bristol amid
Hexeter!' or, 'Put some Heastern Counties in hice!' HE knows what I
mean: it's the wines I bought upon the hospicious tummination of my
connexshn with those two railroads.
"So strong, indeed, as this abbit become, that being asked to stand
Godfather to the youngest Miss Diddle last weak, I had her christened
(provisionally) Rosamell--from the French line of which I am Director;
and only the other day, finding myself rayther unwell, 'Doctor,' says I
to Sir Jeames Clark, 'I've sent to consult you because my Midlands are
out of horder; and I want you to send them up to a premium.


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