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Thackeray, William Makepeace, 1811-1863

"Burlesques"

Gonzales's plan, and the one which I recommend to my dear
Snooks, simply was to write an advertisement novel. Look over The Times
or the 'Directory,' walk down Regent Street or Fleet Street any day--see
what houses advertise most, and put yourself into communication with
their proprietors. With your rings, your chains, your studs, and the tip
on your chin, I don't know any greater swell than Bob Snooks. Walk into
the shops, I say, ask for the principal, and introduce yourself, saying,
'I am the great Snooks; I am the author of the "Mysteries of May Fair;"
my weekly sale is 281,000; I am about to produce a new work called "The
Palaces of Pimlico, or the Curse of the Court," describing and lashing
fearlessly the vices of the aristocracy; this book will have a sale
of at least 530,000; it will be on every table--in the boudoir of the
pampered duke, as in the chamber of the honest artisan. The myriads of
foreigners who are coming to London, and are anxious to know about our
national manners, will purchase my book, and carry it to their distant
homes. So, Mr. Taylor, or Mr. Haberdasher, or Mr. Jeweller, how much
will you stand if I recommend you in my forthcoming novel?' You may make
a noble income in this way, Snooks.
"For instance, suppose it is an upholsterer.


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