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Various

"Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 99, August 9, 1890"

Be seated, CONRAD, at your Mother's knee, and you
shall hear the full particulars. You know how zealously I advocate the
sacred cause of Nursery Reform? How through my efforts every infant's
toys are carefully inspected once a month--?
_Con. (wearily)._ Nay, Mother, you forget--I _have_ no toys.
_C's. M._ Which brings you under the exemption clause. But--to resume;
how Nursery Songs and Tales must now be duly licensed by our Censor,
and any deviation from the text forbidden under heavy penalties? All
that you know. Well; with concern of late, I have remarked among our
infancy the rapid increase of a baneful habit on which I scarce
can bring my tongue to dwell. _(The Stage darker; blind at back
illuminated.)_ Oh, CONRAD, there are children--think of it!--so lost
to every sense of decency that, in mere wantonness or brainless
sloth, they obstinately suck forbidden thumbs! (CONRAD _starts
with irrepressible emotion.)_ Forgive me if I shock your innocence!
_(Sadly.)_ Such things exist--but soon shall cease to be, thanks to
the measure we have passed to-day!
_Con. (with growing uneasiness)._ But how can statutes check such
practices?
_C's M. (patting his head).


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