--According to _Mr. Punch's_ sharp contemporary,
the _Lancet_, the effect of bagpipe-playing upon the teeth is to blunt
them; in fact, in course of time, to wear them away. To the auditor
the music has a contrary effect. _Mr. Punch_ is able to say, from
experience, that he has never listened to the National instrument of
Grand Old Scotland without having his teeth set on edge.
* * * * *
[Illustration: "IN TROUBLE."]
* * * * *
[Illustration: HINTS FOR THE PARK.
WHY NOT HAVE SOMETHING OF THIS SORT? IT WOULD AT LEAST MAKE THINGS
LESS MONOTONOUS.]
* * * * *
TOUTING FOR TOURISTS.
TO THE EDITOR
OF ANY PAPER THAT INSERTS GRATUITOUS ADVERTISEMENTS.
SIR,--Kindly contradict the rumour, which I find is widely spread and
appears to be credited in some quarters, that an extensive sewage
farm has been established in front of the most fashionable terrace in
Slushborough-on-Sea, and that a Smallpox Hospital is about to be built
upon the Pier. "Salubrious Slushborough" still continues (in spite
of the machinations of jealous Northbourne) to be the most select,
popular, and healthy resort on the British coasts.
Yours disinterestedly, THE MAYOR OF SLUSHBOROUGH.
SIR,--A report (proceeding, I have reason, to believe, from
ill-conditioned residents at Slushborough) is being disseminated to
the effect, that the water-supply of Northbourne is largely tainted
with typhus and diphtheria germs, and that an epidemic is already
ravaging this place.
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