Various reasons have, as usual, been advanced to account for this
phenomenon, one eminent politician having gone so far as to hint
darkly at the existence of Cave-men (or Troglodytes), who dwell in
barrows.
* * * * *
The weather has been subject to strange variations. The mean
temperature of the isothermal lines, when reduced to fractions of
an infinitesimal value, has been found to correspond exactly to the
elevation of the nap on the hat of a certain sporting Earl. Dividing
that by the number of buttons on a costermonger's waistcoat, and
adding to the quotient the number of aspirates picked up in the Old
Kent Road on a Saturday afternoon, the result has been computed as
equal to the total amount of minutes occupied by a vendor of saveloys
in advertising his wares in the Pall Mall Clubs.
* * * * *
Candour is at times inconvenient. A prominent member of a Metropolitan
Vestry was informed two days ago by one of the permanent scavengers
of the district, that he "wasn't worth the price of a second-hand
boot-lace." On inquiring the meaning of this curious phrase, he was
told that "his blooming head would be knocked off for two-pence."
We understand that the Vestryman's vote on a question of salary is
responsible for the indignation of the scavenger, a member of a class
usually noted for their somewhat ceremonious courtesy.
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